How The Pinch Stole Xmas

After a sold-out final weekend of "Filthy Lucre: A Burlesque Christmas Carol" (starring Nasty Canasta, "Perhaps the loveliest and certainly the nudest Scrooge in history" -The New York Times), Pinchbottom offers one last chance to spend the goddamn holidays in naked style with another risque retelling of a classic tale, "How The Pinch Stole Xmas".

When Nasty Canasta takes charge of the Holiday Pageant, she decides to celebrate with nudity, using burlesque stars for sexy tributes to the season. But the grinch-like (but legally distinct) "Pinch" (Jonny Porkpie) wants to keep Xmas clean and pure as the virgin snow, and so dresses up as Burlesque Santa and sets out to kidnap each and every performer in Nasty's show. Will The Pinch have a change of heart in time to save Nasty's pageant? Or will Xmas remain forever G-rated? A stocking-stuffer that takes on the holidays as only Pinchbottom can; from behind, "How the Pinch Stole Xmas" is holiday treat full of goodies for all the bad boys and girls.

Returning for its 3rd year, "How The Pinch Stole Xmas" is the centerpiece of the bump-and-grind feast that is the 2009 Burlesque Blitz, appearing right smack dab in the middle of the 5-day extravaganza. The 2009 edition stars Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie, with Julie Atlas Muz, Little Brooklyn, Legs Malone, Mat "Sealboy" Fraser, Sapphire Jones, and promises to be yet another night of holiday fun "Not for the family or faint of heart"

Dates: Monday, December 28 at 10:30pm
Venue: The Kraine Theater
Address: 85 East 4th Street, Manhattan
Ticket Info: http://www.pinchbottom.com/tickets/

BROOKLYN: A Burlesque Tribute

Gowanus? Then come and get us! On Monday, August 17, Sweet and Nasty presents BROOKLYN at Public Assembly: a night of tassel-twirling burlesque tributes to the people, places and things that make Brooklyn great. Local burlesque superstars will take it all off for Brooklyn - proving that, despite 'The Great Mistake of 1898,' we're still the hottest borough of all!

"Did you know that Brooklyn is the birthplace of hip-hop, hipster moms, and Barbra Streisand? We'll be presenting striptease tributes to all these and more," promises Nasty Canasta - host, producer, and the reigning Cheese Queen of Coney Island. "Of course, Brooklyn is also the birthplace of Gold's Horseradish," adds Canasta. "But I'm not sure if we can do anything with that. For one thing, it'd probably burn a lot."

Since 2006, Sweet and Nasty has been adding its own unique mix of glam camp, historical fact, and blatant lies to the New York burlesque scene, and currently appears monthly at Public Assembly. Their August spectacular, BROOKLYN: A Burlesque Tribute, is the centerpiece of a jam-packed night of burlesque entertainment that will begin with go-go by Robert Moses at 9pm, and continue until Tuesday morning. As a special offer, wear your snazziest Brooklyn t-shirt for 2-for-1 admission!

What do Brooklyn and burlesque performers have in common? Find out with Clams Casino, Miss Coney Island Gal Friday, GiGi La Femme, Minnie Tonka, host Nasty Canasta and more at BROOKLYN: A Burlesque Tribute.

SWEET AND NASTY BURLESQUE presents
BROOKLYN: A Burlesque Tribute
Monday, August 17
doors at 9 pm | show at 10 pm
at Public Assembly - 70 N. 6th St., Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Admission: $10

Sweet and Nasty roasts The Burlesque Mayor of NYC

The burlesque world is but rarely graced with figures of towering talent, matchless intellect, humanitarian instincts and unrestrained charisma; and Jonny Porkpie falls short of greatness in not only these but so very many other ways, as well. On Monday, March 30, Sweet and Nasty presents PORK ROAST at The New Monday Night Burlesque: a true burlesque birthday roast of the self-proclamined "Burlesque Mayor of NYC."

"Jonny Porkpie has been a personal thorn in my side for years now," claims host and producer Nasty Canasta. "It's about time someone knocked him down a few pegs - and you wouldn't believe how long the list of volunteers was to do just that." PORK ROAST will do the traditional comedy roast one better, by adding performances by some of New York's biggest stars of burlesque and variety in a tassel-twirling, boob-baring tribute to Porkpie and his unique style of 'man-lesque'. As Monday Night Burlesque producer Doc Wasabassco adds, "It's especially hard for male performers to make it in burlesque: they need a certain extra something, and Jonny ... well, he just hasn't got it. He does have nice hair, though."

Since 2006, Sweet and Nasty has been adding its own unique mix of glam camp, historical fact, and blatant lies to the New York burlesque scene. Sweet and Nasty currently appears on the last Monday of every month at Public Assembly, as part of The New Monday Night Burlesque. Their March extravaganza, PORK ROAST, is the centerpiece of a jam-packed evening of burlesque entertainment: preceded by The Kickoff at 9pm, and followed by the Monday Night Blue go-go dance party at Midnight. Plus two happy hours: preshow 8-9pm, and post-show midnight until closing.

Little Brooklyn, Albert Cadabra, Clams Casino, Anita Cookie, GiGi La Femme, Neil O'Fortune, Ruby Valentine and Doc Wasabassco are warming up the oven and sharpening the knives, and roastmaster Nasty Canasta is setting the table for PORK ROAST, a burlesque birthday roast of Jonny Porkpie at Public Assembly for one night only, Monday, March 30 at 10pm.

SWEET AND NASTY BURLESQUE and THE NEW MONDAY NIGHT BURLESQUE present
PORK ROAST
Monday, March 30 @ 10pm
at Public Assembly, 70 N. 6th St, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Admission: $10

The Jazz Stripper

Brooklyn is famous for many things: hipsters, a bridge or two, the Dodgers - and of course, Neil Diamond. On Monday, February 23rd, Sweet and Nasty presents THE JAZZ STRIPPER at The New Monday Night Burlesque: a night of tassel-twirling tributes to the greatest singer-songwriter ever to come out of Kings County.

"What better way to celebrate my birthday than with a show combining two of my deepest and most abiding loves - burlesque and Neil Diamond?" asks host and producer Nasty Canasta. The reigning Cheese Queen of Coney Island, Canasta confesses to a lifelong appreciation of the man known as 'The Jewish Elvis'. "After all, we were both born right here in Brooklyn - and we were both naked at the time!"

Since 2006, Sweet and Nasty has been adding its own unique mix of glam camp, historical fact, and blatant lies to the New York burlesque scene. Sweet and Nasty currently appears on the last Monday of every month at Public Assembly, as part of The New Monday Night Burlesque. Their February extravaganza, THE JAZZ STRIPPER, is the centerpiece of a jam-packed evening of burlesque entertainment: preceded by The Kickoff at 9pm, and followed by the Monday Night Blue go-go dance party at Midnight. Plus two happy hours: preshow 8-9pm, and post-show midnight until closing.

So turn on your heartlight, thank the Lord for the night time, and travel down those Brooklyn roads with Afua Richardson, Anita Cookie, Creamy Stevens, Gal Friday, RunAround Sue, Sapphire Jones and Tigger! Host Nasty Canasta will make you a believer at THE JAZZ STRIPPER, a Diamond-studded night of burlesque at Public Assembly for one night only, Monday, February 23rd at 10pm.

Revealed: More Burlesque than Ever Before!

Pictured: Nasty Canasta, Clams Casino, GiGi La Femme, Peekaboo Pointe & Ruby Valentine. Photo credit: Luke Ratray

REVEALED... Brought to you by the Power Couple of Burlesque (GiGi La Femme and Doc Wasabassco) is a cutting-edge burlesque show with a sinfully dirty twist. This unique and extra-sultry night features the sexiest, most notorious burlesque performers in New York City, as you’ve never seen them before! Revealed promises you more bang for your buck than any other show in town. What surprises will the girls have in store for us this month? Come find out and experience an evening of salacious striptease and skin, where the climax of each number leaves everything…Revealed.

February’s show will feature performances by: The girl who puts the laugher in slaughter, Creamy Stevens, The Five Alarm Fire of Burlesque & Miss Coney Island 2009, Gal Friday, The Girl Dreams Are Made Of, GiGi La Femme, The Borg Queen of Burlesque, Kobayashi Maru, Delinquent Darling, Peekaboo Pointe, and in her Revealed debut, The Black Pearl, Perle Noire.

Every month features Your Gibson Geisha Girl Fantasy, Madame Rosebud as our sexy stage kitten. This month our beloved Bastard Keith will be replaced the Maniacal Rapping Four-Eyed Devil, Schaffer the Darklord!

Doc Wasabassco In addition to Revealed, Doc Wasabassco, “The Kingpin of Burlesque’, produces Wasabassco Burlesque and The NEW Monday Night Burlesque at Public Assembly. Wasabassco hosts monthly shows at Brooklyn venues Living Room Lounge and Sputnik, The Palace of Wonders in Washington D.C., feature shows at Brooklyn hot spots Southpaw and Union Hall, and many fine venues throughout New York! Wasabassco Burlesque is sponsored by Wasabassco Hot Sauce, a delicious blend of wasabi, hot peppers, and spices. Lots of hot sauces are hot, but Wasabassco is bursting with spicy flavor!

GiGi La Femme is a delectable feast for the eyes, heart and soul. One of the most active performers on the New York Burlesque scene, she is a mainstay at many of the city's most critically acclaimed shows and best loved venues from the Bronx to the Battery and beyond. A multi-level threat, GiGi is a striptease artist, go–go dancer, pin-up model, chanteuse, host, and producer. GiGi has appeared in shows including This is Burlesque, Le Scandal, Pinchbottom Burlesque, Starshine Burlesque, Sweet & Nasty Burlesque, and Wasabassco Burlesque. She has graced stages at The Brooklyn Academy of Music, Coney Island, Corio, The Cutting Room, Public Assembly, The Slipper Room, The Palace of Wonders in Washington D.C. and a multitude of venues near and far. GiGi is also a founding member of The Burlesque Alliance, producers of some of the east coast's largest burlesque events.

Revealed Burlesque is on the third Wednesday of every month at 10pm at UNDER St. Marks (94 St. Marks Place between 1st and Avenue A) Tickets ($20) are available by calling Smarttix at 212-868-4444 or online at www.horseTRADE.info

So You Think You Can Pinch? Reality Parody Burlesque Show

In 2008, Pinchbottom came to an agreement with a renowned Off-Broadway theater to spend the entirety of their 2009 season -- 12 months of shows -- at that venue. When the Zipper Factory Theater shut its doors suddenly and permanently just three days before the January show was scheduled to premiere, another esteemed Off-Broadway house stepped in to provide a last-minute home for “Murder Most Naked”, which became the best-attended and best-received event in Pinchbottom’s 4-year history.

Now, Pinchbottom is thrilled to announce that they have reached an agreement with that venue, The Bleecker Street Theater, to continue there for the rest of their scheduled Winter Season. So, on February 21, “reality” meets nudity when Pinchbottom presents their second world-premiere theatrical burlesque event of 2009: the 100% fake reality show SO YOU THINK YOU CAN PINCH AMERICA’S NEXT TOP BOTTOM OF TALENT.

When Pinchbottom puts a gaggle of gorgeous burlesque performers in a house on a desert island in a bus on the road in a boardroom on a boat at a circus with a dancing bachelor idol apprentice and someone else's wife's nanny's washed-up celebrity chef and Cory and forces them to compete competitively for the title of "Top Most Best Biggest Everything Ever for all time 2009", what will happen? Only one thing’s for sure... it’s going to be sexy.
The final five contestants strut will their stuff in front of a live audience on Saturday, February 21 at 10:30pm, in an event that purports to be the Grand Finale of a vigorous, vicious, and sensual season of Reality TV.

And what would a reality show be without rejection? For the first time ever, Pinchbottom is asking the general public to take part in the show by sending in their own audition/rejection videos! Submissions to the Loser File should include both horrendous audition footage and video of the submitter reacting as they are brutally rejected from the show in front of millions. Videos can be submitted on You Tube in response to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5NnXt1SNlA, or to the show page on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=51186339788

“When the chips are down, and the economy is dire, what do the networks do?” asked Pinchbottom star Nasty Canasta, rhetorically. “Replace expensive high-quality scripted shows with cheap and easy Reality TV. Well, Pinchbottom may not be a major television network (yet), but we certainly are cheap and easy!”

Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie host, as finalists Clams Casino, GiGi La Femme, Harvest Moon, Legs Malone, and Naughtia Nice are judged by cantankerous local celebrities Mr. Kenny Law and Miss Astrid for the show that finally answers the question “What the hell is a burlesque reality show, anyway?”

Producer: Pinchbottom Burlesque
Show Title: SO YOU THINK YOU CAN PINCH AMERICA’S NEXT TOP BOTTOM of talent
Date: Saturday, February 21 at 10:30pm
Venue: The Bleecker Streeet Theater
Address: 45 Bleecker Street, Manhattan
Ticket Info: price: $20 online: pinchbottom.com/tickets or by phone: 212-352-3101