How The Pinch Stole Xmas

After a sold-out final weekend of "Filthy Lucre: A Burlesque Christmas Carol" (starring Nasty Canasta, "Perhaps the loveliest and certainly the nudest Scrooge in history" -The New York Times), Pinchbottom offers one last chance to spend the goddamn holidays in naked style with another risque retelling of a classic tale, "How The Pinch Stole Xmas".

When Nasty Canasta takes charge of the Holiday Pageant, she decides to celebrate with nudity, using burlesque stars for sexy tributes to the season. But the grinch-like (but legally distinct) "Pinch" (Jonny Porkpie) wants to keep Xmas clean and pure as the virgin snow, and so dresses up as Burlesque Santa and sets out to kidnap each and every performer in Nasty's show. Will The Pinch have a change of heart in time to save Nasty's pageant? Or will Xmas remain forever G-rated? A stocking-stuffer that takes on the holidays as only Pinchbottom can; from behind, "How the Pinch Stole Xmas" is holiday treat full of goodies for all the bad boys and girls.

Returning for its 3rd year, "How The Pinch Stole Xmas" is the centerpiece of the bump-and-grind feast that is the 2009 Burlesque Blitz, appearing right smack dab in the middle of the 5-day extravaganza. The 2009 edition stars Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie, with Julie Atlas Muz, Little Brooklyn, Legs Malone, Mat "Sealboy" Fraser, Sapphire Jones, and promises to be yet another night of holiday fun "Not for the family or faint of heart"

Dates: Monday, December 28 at 10:30pm
Venue: The Kraine Theater
Address: 85 East 4th Street, Manhattan
Ticket Info: http://www.pinchbottom.com/tickets/

Filthy Lucre: A Burlesque Christmas Carol

Pinchbottom Burlesque today announced the first round of guest stars for the holiday extravaganza FILTHY LUCRE: A Burlesque Christmas Carol, which will run from December 2-13 at Walkerspace in TriBeCa. In addition to Pinchbottom star Nasty Canasta as Scrooge, Jonny Porkpie as Marley, and Anita Cookie, Bastard Keith, Naughtia Nice, Scott Rayow, and Tigger!, the event will feature a rotating cast of guest stars that includes the best in New York City Burlesque, and 10+ award-winners from the Burlesque Hall of Fame, including three Miss Exotic World winners.

The list, which would be the envy of any burlesque producer in the world, includes such striptease luminaries as Albert Cadabra, Angie Pontani, Bambi the Mermaid, Bird of Paradise, Bunny Love, Clams Casino, Darlinda Just Darlinda, Delirium Tremens, Dirty Martini, Gal Friday, GiGi La Femme, Harvest Moon, Jezebel Express, Jo Boobs, Julie Atlas Muz, Legs Malone, Leroi the Girl Boi, Little Brooklyn, Melody Sweets, Minnie Tonka, Ms Tickle, Peekaboo Pointe, Ruby Valentine, Sapphire Jones, and more!

These 25+ guest stars will perform in rotation over the course of the two-week run, portraying the three ghosts and the spurned love interest of Scrooge's youth. A full lineup and schedule is available at http://www.pinchbottom.com/filthylucre/

"I couldn't be more thrilled to be working once again with these brilliant talents," said Nasty Canasta. "And I have no doubt that their sensual portrayals of the ghosts of Burlesque past, present, and future, will warm the cockles of any Scrooge's heart—not to mention the regions a bit lower down."

Marley was nude, to begin with....
Charles Dickens immortal classic finally drops its knickers and gets down to business. "A Christmas Carol is perhaps my absolute favorite piece of literature," says Pinchbottom co-producer Nasty Canasta, who will play the Scrooge character in the show. "But there has always been one thing missing from the classic tale... and that is, of course, sexy Victorian-era vixens lasciviously removing their knickers." According to Jonny Porkpie, who plays Marley's Ghost and is adapting the story for the burlesque stage, the Pinchbottom version will not stray far from the original text. "Other than changing the Scrooge character to a woman, his counting house to a strip club, and adding boobs every few minutes"--he said--"the show will be completely faithful to Dickens." "I mean, in its own way," Porkpie clarified. "Perhaps it might be more accurate to say that the show and Dickens will have an open relationship." Paired with a special holiday edition of Naked Girls Reading.
Tickets: http://www.pinchbottom.com/tickets/filthylucre

Sweet and Nasty roasts The Burlesque Mayor of NYC

The burlesque world is but rarely graced with figures of towering talent, matchless intellect, humanitarian instincts and unrestrained charisma; and Jonny Porkpie falls short of greatness in not only these but so very many other ways, as well. On Monday, March 30, Sweet and Nasty presents PORK ROAST at The New Monday Night Burlesque: a true burlesque birthday roast of the self-proclamined "Burlesque Mayor of NYC."

"Jonny Porkpie has been a personal thorn in my side for years now," claims host and producer Nasty Canasta. "It's about time someone knocked him down a few pegs - and you wouldn't believe how long the list of volunteers was to do just that." PORK ROAST will do the traditional comedy roast one better, by adding performances by some of New York's biggest stars of burlesque and variety in a tassel-twirling, boob-baring tribute to Porkpie and his unique style of 'man-lesque'. As Monday Night Burlesque producer Doc Wasabassco adds, "It's especially hard for male performers to make it in burlesque: they need a certain extra something, and Jonny ... well, he just hasn't got it. He does have nice hair, though."

Since 2006, Sweet and Nasty has been adding its own unique mix of glam camp, historical fact, and blatant lies to the New York burlesque scene. Sweet and Nasty currently appears on the last Monday of every month at Public Assembly, as part of The New Monday Night Burlesque. Their March extravaganza, PORK ROAST, is the centerpiece of a jam-packed evening of burlesque entertainment: preceded by The Kickoff at 9pm, and followed by the Monday Night Blue go-go dance party at Midnight. Plus two happy hours: preshow 8-9pm, and post-show midnight until closing.

Little Brooklyn, Albert Cadabra, Clams Casino, Anita Cookie, GiGi La Femme, Neil O'Fortune, Ruby Valentine and Doc Wasabassco are warming up the oven and sharpening the knives, and roastmaster Nasty Canasta is setting the table for PORK ROAST, a burlesque birthday roast of Jonny Porkpie at Public Assembly for one night only, Monday, March 30 at 10pm.

SWEET AND NASTY BURLESQUE and THE NEW MONDAY NIGHT BURLESQUE present
PORK ROAST
Monday, March 30 @ 10pm
at Public Assembly, 70 N. 6th St, Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Admission: $10