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Friday, December 5, 2008

Satanic Sluts Burlesque?

Burlesque can be described as a humorous and provocative stage show that features bawdy songs, striptease and scantily clad women.

Dita Von Teese is the epitome of burlesque. With her nipped in waist, flowing black hair, bee-sting red lips and porcelain skin, Dita oozes sex appeal. And when she lifts that fishnet-clad leg of hers over her head, she does it with a style and panache that comes from years of practice. Dita is a beautiful woman who makes money out of professionally playing the tease and there is nothing wrong with that.

So I wonder what Dita thinks of the Satanic Sluts, a burlesque group headed up by Georgina Baillie -- she being the grandchild of Andrew Sachs who was the object of that phone call from Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross.

The Satanic Sluts were only formed in January but have shot to fame because of the revelation by Ross that Baillie and Brand had a one-night stand. On foot of their new found fame, the Satanic Sluts made an appearance on The Late Late Show recently and if Dita Von Teese was dead, she would surely have been rolling in her grave.

As the girls ripped off their dresses and revealed their underwear, the first three words that formed in my head were "mudder of jaysus". There wasn't a nipped in waist among them and one of them definitely had legs like sledgehammers. Three of them then held-up implements that looked like something you might pick up in the Two Euro shop to decorate your Christmas cake with and proceeded to wave them about.

What followed from that was basically a lap dance without the laps as they strutted their stuff. One of them squatted and then jumped across the floor like a bull frog chasing a cricket, while another was trying to meet the floor with her own pelvic exercise. The routine looked as if it had been made up on the plane over from London and the audience just looked bewildered.

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